from marriages/relationship’s are exactly that. They are not yours and that, dear readers is the truth. There are occasions where step parent(s) do make the effort to treat them with kindness and instill some sense of family whether they live with them or during visitation. Facebook is full of “concerned” step parents who bemoan about the terrible parenting skills of the biological. They parade their ready made family across the timeline like a constant breeze. Trouble is…it reeks of garbage in a lot of instances. If it isn’t plastered on facebook, then it is a regular topic at work or whatever social / religious circles you frequent.

I listen and I watch. Those that talk about other people’s children are 10 out of 10 times speaking negatively against what the child does and dovetails it with the other parent being at fault. The child is cast into a shadow of gray and so becomes part of “the problem”. Just this week I heard the term “…my **#t head kid…” when they ARE NOT theirs, but rather the spouse’s. So far, every snippet of conversation has been on the shortcomings of parenting (not from the spouse) and how the child is this or that, always lacking.

Something else…even if you try to be the concerned, loving, great step parent and have a child of your own with current spouse don’t be fooled into thinking that your preference to your own doesn’t show through. I can absolutely say that I have been a witness to it happening. That little blood borne darling is yours. I’m honing in on the mamas especially, because for whatever reason, females seem to have this innate need to tear other women’s children down; even more so if they are married to the father. There is one particular child at the moment I’m feeling sorry for even though I’ve never laid eyes upon them. I know what the step mother is like in an adult setting and can only imagine what she puts the kid through.

I write from what I see. I don’t see the heart, but I do see the looks, actions, and tell-tale signs that all point to my posting. I stand by it even if you don’t agree because it is my experience.

The kindest thing would be to keep your opinions to yourself. The child already knows you dislike them, as children are not stupid. The stupid ones are adults trying to pretend that they have a ‘real’ family when in reality it is only one that is built upon broken promises and dissatisfaction. Throwing children of other people into your SELF CENTERED PLAN of ‘family’ usually leads to a recipe that leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

 Dear “…my **8t head kid…”, I hope things get better for you.

 

Happy Messages…

November 30, 2015

Don’t worry, be happy.

When you choose joy you feel good…

You are as happy as you choose to be.

If you don’t like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Don’t worry. God is never blind to your tears, never deaf to your prayers, and never silent to your pain. He sees, He hears, and He will deliver.

Feeling good now, are we? Feeling happy, joyous, moving  life to something better since you have no roots to hold you stuck in the same ground? Now that you know God can see, hear, and ‘sound’ to your pain, are you ready to receive that deliverance?

Thought so. Me, too.

The messages are all over the place. Be. Choose. Trust God. Instant.

But…it is not. Read it again. IT.IS.NOT.

Unless you are a child, you will worry, be sad, angry, get stuck, cry, pray without ‘answers’, and hear deafening silence in your pain.

In no way am I discounting God, BUT people have splashed these sayings so much in our face that it makes you lose your breath. And while you may read or hear them, the heart and soul can still be unaffected as soon as you veer away from that Pinterest,  motivating article, television evangelist, and/ or local church sermon, only to be right back in the same state of mind.

Sometimes, MOST times, it TAKES TIME. That is a  sentence of three in times and yes, that is what I mean. Time. It depends on what you are dealing with and your particular personality. Some are offended at someone looking at them a bit too long in the checkout line. Others go sulk because they weren’t invited to the party . Still yet, others may have been sick for a week and no one bothered to see why they didn’t show up at Sunday School and they will be happy as clams just to be able to get back on schedule the next week. 

 Take this for what it’s worth to you. A lot, a bit, or nothing at all.

Just do yourself a favor. Don’t be ruled by the stuff written or said on Happy Messages.

 

Thanksgiving Countdown…

November 24, 2015

Four a.m., seven hours of sleep, eyes open, and the clock starts. Menu: Dinner will consist of turkey, ham, canned jellied cranberry sauce, the smooth type, and naturally, Ocean Spray…I mean is there any other kind!? Chicken and dressing, some sort of bread (I FORGOT rolls),possibly creamed potatoes, and a first for me, turtle pie. I may throw in some French green beans if I’m feeling the need. Supper will be potluck at my sister-in-laws where it is tradition, with another batch of my C & D and Eagle Brand cream cheese pie with cherry topping.

Plans today include chop and cook onion, celery, cornbread, and chicken for dressing. That’s usually the most time consuming. Ham, I’ll cook tomorrow and we can consume it on Thursday morning while the turkey cooks leisurely in the oven.  The turtle pie sure sounds delicious, but when my son mentioned it I asked him what to buy. “Google it”, he says…Ok…I do this while at the store and all these recipes show up and I decide on one that looks good. After he gets home from work, I show him all the stuff I bought and he says, “Where’s the pretzels?” . What pretzels??? I told him I saw no pretzels listed in the ingredients on the one I chose. He said it was okay, that it would turn out delicious he was sure with what I’d bought. Love this young man. Good thing, too. Fourteen dollars worth of stuff for the pie!

Looking forward to the day and hoping bodies and souls will be filled  with good food and good memories.

Just so you know… Black Friday is going to be my day of leisure, so I’ll be going for another piece of turtle pie and some turkey and ham. Yesss…I did mention turtle pie first…

Happy Thanksgiving!