from marriages/relationship’s are exactly that. They are not yours and that, dear readers is the truth. There are occasions where step parent(s) do make the effort to treat them with kindness and instill some sense of family whether they live with them or during visitation. Facebook is full of “concerned” step parents who bemoan about the terrible parenting skills of the biological. They parade their ready made family across the timeline like a constant breeze. Trouble is…it reeks of garbage in a lot of instances. If it isn’t plastered on facebook, then it is a regular topic at work or whatever social / religious circles you frequent.

I listen and I watch. Those that talk about other people’s children are 10 out of 10 times speaking negatively against what the child does and dovetails it with the other parent being at fault. The child is cast into a shadow of gray and so becomes part of “the problem”. Just this week I heard the term “…my **#t head kid…” when they ARE NOT theirs, but rather the spouse’s. So far, every snippet of conversation has been on the shortcomings of parenting (not from the spouse) and how the child is this or that, always lacking.

Something else…even if you try to be the concerned, loving, great step parent and have a child of your own with current spouse don’t be fooled into thinking that your preference to your own doesn’t show through. I can absolutely say that I have been a witness to it happening. That little blood borne darling is yours. I’m honing in on the mamas especially, because for whatever reason, females seem to have this innate need to tear other women’s children down; even more so if they are married to the father. There is one particular child at the moment I’m feeling sorry for even though I’ve never laid eyes upon them. I know what the step mother is like in an adult setting and can only imagine what she puts the kid through.

I write from what I see. I don’t see the heart, but I do see the looks, actions, and tell-tale signs that all point to my posting. I stand by it even if you don’t agree because it is my experience.

The kindest thing would be to keep your opinions to yourself. The child already knows you dislike them, as children are not stupid. The stupid ones are adults trying to pretend that they have a ‘real’ family when in reality it is only one that is built upon broken promises and dissatisfaction. Throwing children of other people into your SELF CENTERED PLAN of ‘family’ usually leads to a recipe that leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

 Dear “…my **8t head kid…”, I hope things get better for you.

 

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Hi dee Friday…

October 23, 2015

Glad you are here. It’s rainy, cool, and Fall with a touch of cozy. The grass naps quietly in the yard, hints of green still peeking through since the blanket of winter has yet to cover the little blades who insist on trying to wriggle out from the past week of warm temperatures. This time of year brings a delight to one’s nose when leaves are burned and bon fires mix with marshmallows and hot dogs. The quietness of outside broken by orange bright wood, conversation, and packages rustling to quell the appetites that nature brings to life in the evening time among family and friends.

It brings rest to mind and body.

As the South says, “Happy Fall, Ya’ll”.

Broken little family

in my youngest years

I searched in vain

to remedy to take

away the fears

The thoughts were vague

intents obscure

the words were

sweet the trap allured

First one his one

they beckoned me

I followed blindly

I could not see

Too late too late

my soul was tossed

The years remain

and all is lost

Tho’ one has gone

to depths unknown

now three remain

no four are known

Yet eight is the number

that breathes for now

my heart longs to slumber

please lay me down

Copyright 2015 –R Webb

to myself I ran across while going through some things prior to moving.  Not sure if it would be considered a poem, but I think it’s in that vein…

Distance of

family

friends

society

Closeness of

me

nature

God

Listen

Listen more

Listen more so

Words are weary spoken

go about your work quietly

There is a loneliness

that never leaves even in

the midst of others

Simply Be

Nature listens as doth God

Speak to yourself and they will hear

Copyright by R. Webb, 10/16/2013

Sometimes…

June 5, 2012

it’s like I’m looking through a large picture window. I watch silently as others parade by through venues of family, work, worship, weddings, funerals, anniversaries, holidays, etc. repeating themselves year after year through the course of this life. I sit and watch  on some days. Other times I stand at a distance and look at those who are involved in the situation. On occasion, with nose pressed so close I can feel the warmth of my own breath, I stare into the scene, trying to see how all this is taking place and longing to be there to help me understand and have  connection.

The conclusion comes to me as I turn and walk away. It is a window for gazing; not to call out to, nor join myself within its framework. In the hall  I  stare at  my reflection in a mirror. In bed, my eyes close waiting for the night to give my mind rest. I have no part of  what is another’s. I have only what is mine.

Workin’ Man…

February 2, 2010

My husband is working long, crazy hours. It’s good since we can use the money. He’s been on an 11.5 hour shift today in a cold plant and just called to say he’s on the way home. His routine will be shower, eat, rest with tv, then sleep a few hours and go right back to the grind. What is the point to all this? It makes one wonder. Especially since all the hours spent at the plant still do not make a dent in the way of bills. Sound familiar? This, my friends has become the new American way of life. But, at least supper and the love of his family is waiting.