Last Night…

August 4, 2015

Was a dreamless night. I awoke even before my alarm sounded and dared not look at the time. If I look, I cannot go back to sleep. Staring into the cool darkness I turned over, adjusted my pillow, and pulled the covers around my throat. Sometime afterwards the chime brought me into morning.

This is a calm day for me. I let go of  more material things early this A.M. with the scheduled curbside pickup. I can still see the items waiting dutifully for their transportation to their new home, I feel no guilt. Some of the items are brand new, still in their original containers. Others, old as the hills, but with a good cleaning and if desired, some paint, can earn their keep. The main point is to let them do what they were created to do. Be useful.

I remind myself that things are just exactly that. They have no love, no hate, no anything. You can pick something up that brings you a thousand memories and it feels nothing. It sits silently in your hands with no where to go, except where you direct.

  I have no dirt from my childhood, yet I close my eyes and still smell its rich dark aroma. The tree that produced huge sweet pears so full of juice that it dripped down your chin is gone, but my mind conjures it up, complete with the large buzzing bumblebees, yellow jackets, and honey bees that feasted off the bounty for years. The year after we moved the tree died. I always said that it missed us. I still believe that. We grew up playing under it, our dog having his house nearby. After the dog died and we left, I think it realized it had done its work. It provided us with sweet smells, delicious pears, shade, and a sturdiness for years. We, in turn, had given it sounds of laughter and  joy, receiving the fruit with squeals of delight, playing many years around it throughout our young days. The time came to move on…and the tree had loved us in the way it could and we had loved it back.

Thoughts are in my mind…and I can carry them wherever I go, with no fear of them not having a place. For they are in my heart and I think of them often.

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Broken little family

in my youngest years

I searched in vain

to remedy to take

away the fears

The thoughts were vague

intents obscure

the words were

sweet the trap allured

First one his one

they beckoned me

I followed blindly

I could not see

Too late too late

my soul was tossed

The years remain

and all is lost

Tho’ one has gone

to depths unknown

now three remain

no four are known

Yet eight is the number

that breathes for now

my heart longs to slumber

please lay me down

Copyright 2015 –R Webb

Everything that exists has always existed. Maybe not as we can ‘see’ it but it is there. Body, mind, soul, and spirit all connect to various aspects of this even if we don’t get it. Ever feel overwhelmed, like there is too much out there? Too much crying and whining. Boo hoo hoo. I’m a victim. They are mean, cruel, …ignorant. Too nice, too sweet, too soft hearted. Need to be stronger, wiser, smarter, more…tolerant. So MUCH need to be, should be, can be, will be, BETTER BE…or ELSE. The entire world is in dire need of putting its heart back in the proper place. The chest…and off the sleeve. The chest is the proper place. The wearing of the heart on one’s sleeve leaves the heart open to spills, crying, bruises, even getting pieces of it scraped or torn away. The heart is central to being. Put it back where it belongs. Protect it. Do not leave it open to life’s absurdities. When in the proper place it connects with the body, mind, soul, and spirit. Otherwise, it is simply an outer adornment that is subject to change with the latest trend. Keep it with all diligence.

Morning is past the light has gone
Evening tide rolls thick with fog
Soon night shall claim a restless soul
Whose mind and heart with sorrow untold
Once hope did breathe so shallow there
Within the being of one so fair
Small child of yesterday in time
I weep I weep dear child o’ mine
The tears that flow down cheeks of kin
Spill for the life that might have been
God knows the reasons and the why
So He may comfort by and by
If mercy shows His part Divine
Then heart and soul can rest in time

Copyright 2013